They were vaping and And they were like: Its Ellen,oh my God, its Ellen. And Im like [crowd laughs] and then I realized I pulled up, and the gaspump was over here and my tank was back here, on this side ofthe car. You don't have a barrel or anything like that? And its not about the money. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up But I really For a few minutes there it really seemed like it was goingwell and I thought everyone in Hollywoodthats closeted is gonna come out after me I pictured like a stampede of wildelephants like every closeted actor andactress in Hollywood But instead, they were like littlemeerkats coming out of their little meerkat closets. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter published on Wednesday, Ms. DeGeneres denied that the workplace allegations had anything to do with her departure, saying she had long known 2022 would. Im trying to do What he do, with raise the roof? The Suspiria actor made that much very clear in her Nov. 27 appearance on The Ellen Show. 0:00. Why? Im sure you have it archived. With Ellen DeGeneres. This made her the first openly lesbian actress to play an openly lesbian character on television. No, but Ive dined in other places before. Cut to you, sitting at a bar, drunk, in the same outfit the entire time. Flatten it out. And my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston. Im gonna read. And [crowd laughs] So I was excited by celebrities. Like, I mean Baryshnikov doesnt get askedto dance as much as I get asked to dance. But the job of graduation speaker is to give you some wisdom that I have acquired over the years, so thats what I am going to do. Read the full transcript of her commencement speech here. Theyre flying and they think theyve got it all but they dont. Jen Aniston has dry eye. They dont even Theyve done some gardening, theyve gone on a picnic theyre on the lake in a boat, theyve gone to get ice cream. Id say: Do you mind if I write it down and give it to you and then you take it in the kitchen? Like, if someone cuts me off in a dangerous way if I honk, they are like: Ellen? [crowd laughs] [crowd laughs and claps] Yeah, that and the dancing. I did not. Nobody should be on anybody elses path. Yes. But I said: What do I do about that? He said: Nothing. Shake it off.. People see me, whenever they see me anywhere, theyre like: Dance Ellen, dance. And Im like Im getting a mammogram. Hoe, who is you playin wit? I dont know if some person, a customer in the restaurant. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. I said: Well, they werent watchingme at night. Its very delicate. Emmy-winning talk show host Ellen Lee DeGeneres was born in Metairie, Louisiana, a New Orleans suburb. March 16, 2022. Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now features a concert which was captured live at the Beacon Theater in New York, and was originally broadcast on HBO. Theres a womanwith a ferret theres a man with a mongoose, theres a lady with a donkey. Youll wear them until theres alittle tiny hole starting and youre like:Thats not that bad. Thats a simple little hole that you can just Your heel can be pokingthrough, its like a halter top foryour foot. In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. Because players are gonna to play, play, play, play, play. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. Maybe its time you try gay. And its a jungle out there. And before I had that dream I didnt realize I was in a cage. Yeah, we never had a vaccination, never had But they even kept, like,medicine I didnt know anything about medicine. DeGeneres says allegations of a toxic work environment on . But just in the last year or two for no reason, really. Yep, the green beans. Where do you get your protein? Comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been in the spotlight for decades. Shouldnt be a problem. I have 15 on right now. Mazel tov. You have no idea. -Yes, but I got one in the hand and thats worth two in the bush. Ellen DeGeneres spent nearly two decades interviewing celebrities, dancing and pulling pranks, and that followed even more years in front of the camera and on stage as a stand-up comedian.. Curl up and read a good book or you know, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. No, thank you. Her parents divorced when she was 16 years old. Ive seen that in the brochure, and Ill bring a poncho in case theres a bonfire on the beach. Actually, you dont even have to be that smart, just dont tell people to drink bleach. But Im not [crowd laughs] Oh, look how happy you are. Try Rev and save time transcribing, captioning, and subtitling. Hoe, who is you playin wit? What do they like Walk around, opening [crowd laughs] I heard someone say that a junk drawer is a metaphor for your life. DeGeneres later returned to the Nemo franchise with the 2016 sequel, Finding Dory. Speech-to-Text API for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition engine. Back that ass up Im gonna see what that is, right there,with that because I have to see this and No, I know youre next to me but youre still wrong, even though you caught up. If youre graduating high school, congratulations. I dont know if I shouldget it. Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right foryou. Why is that my job? Maam. And anyway. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up In 2004the year Ellen and Portia started datingDeGeneres purchased a 2,000-square-foot home in Hollywood Hills for $1.275 million. There are so many different types of jobs. I know how important that is. And So, I had to do that bathmat scoot all theway across the bathroom to get to the towel. Heres something that Ive learned that I hope I can help with. But it was the best part of my journey. I mean, I dont know how many people have had a cap in the eye, but I have. I went on safari and I looked like I should have been on safari. And for you? DUSS with my boo bae, tastes like . Im torn, I dont know how I feel. Is she gonna be OK? I have a good job. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. [crowd laughs] [claps] Youll notice the difference in as littleas 48 hours. ELLEN DEGENERES ENDING TALK SHOW IN 2022 AFTER YEAR OF BRUTAL HEADLINES The conversation between the two continued with several more awkward moments, including Johnson admitting she was. I turned 60 in January and [crowd claps] So, for my birthday this year my wife, Portia, gave me the most amazing gift. That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. Thank you. As she told Parade, her parents were devout Christian Scientists, explaining she "grew up in a very conservative home." Her childhood, she admitted, wasn't easy, especially after her parents divorced when she was 13. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. Oh yeah! they dont know what to do. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and the longest distance between two points is the ladies room at a WNBA game. Nobody was in there. But, well, you know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call a doctor. This show features Ellen doing the brand of comedy which made her famous, as she focuses on the sort of everyday problems and quirks to which we can all relate. Just Hows this gonna go? Trees have leaves. Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. Excellent choice. I hate when they say excellent choice right after me. -Well, thats soaked in ham juice. What time of day is good for a lesbian? So [claps] Yeah, and then I get on the air in the first season. It wasnt? You leave the bathroom to go back to yourtable. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. Yeah, we all have our little quirks. No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. Ellen's show experienced a hiatus from mid-December 2020 to mid-January 2021. Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. But they are so, the thingis if you have a sock that you like, everybody has their favorite socks and you will wear those socks as long as youpossibly can. Id like someonealready in there before I get in therewaiting. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Required fields are marked *. If I have to do that, thatll be good. Back that ass up We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Yeah, they really made it known that celebrities wear something and I remember, Charlton Heston came to town and I was four years old and everybody was crowdingaround trying to get a good look at Charlton Heston. And [claps] And that time, after I came out, was really one of the hardest periods of my life, it was. I dont know who started that. Section 107, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. I mean, there are gay football players, there are gay baseball players there are gayhockey players, there are gay doctors, lawyers there are gay hairdressers, you guys. If youre graduating from college, Im so impressed. Transcribe your audio files to find high-impact insights in minutes. I got a TV from the gay lady. You buy a ladder when youre an adult. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (2003) - full transcript Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. [rap song playing] Yeah, yeah, Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances Thank God, Ellen. Its down the hall pass the Medal of Freedom, pass the Emmys pass the Peoples Choice Awards past the Kids Choice Awards, the Teens Choice Awards the Mark Twain Prize, the Peabody. But [crowd claps] -But Im not in any pain -And you wontbe. I think thats why I dont wannahave to take any of these things I see advertised on I just I wanna eat right, I wanna take care of myself, I wanna work out. If you go home, we all have the same stuff in our junk drawer. Beads in a big floppy hat. But you know, so then I grew up going: Oh, celebrities! I guess,everybodys like that but like, I mean, Iwas 16. Andy Lassner: (01:15) Host Ellen DeGeneres continues to deliver uplifting, inspiring, and hilarious experiences to viewers. And this side of the table? Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up DeGeneres became my favorite comic within one hour of So I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe. "If it has lifted you up when you're in a period of some type of pain, some type of sadness . Watch @SavannahGuthrie 's full interview with Ellen DeGeneres about her decision to end her talk show after its upcoming 19th season. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. Ellen: Yeah, how's the tour going? The ladder is an adult purchase if you really think about it. And I think because my mother told me she was rocking me when I was a little baby and we went over backwards and I thought, how fast do you have to berocking a baby? Ellen DeGeneres should have considered laying off the jokes. Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . So, now, that particular look, the mullet,the outfit, everything is on the internet forever and ever andever. I think they have been. Under Title 17 U.S.C. If you look at the commercials that areon the air, most every commercial is forsome type of medicine, some kind of pill and I dont knowif youve noticed it the medicine commercials The side effectsare so long that the people on the commercial are running out of activities. Oh boy. Yeah. Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me Fine dining. -Hows the dining? Ellen DeGeneres fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022. Id like to give a shout out to the Funky Chicken. Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. Happy birthday My parents were obsessed with celebrities and so, hi, here I am. Im gonna prescribe you pot and a pet.. Listen to the MP3 Audio here: Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 Commencement Speech at Tulane University TRANSCRIPT: Scott Cowen - 14th President, Tulane University I like my job. We all have our things that we do, that kind of doesnt make sense. Cause people do that to me. Im just gonna keep shoes on, theyre not gonna see that. Then you go tosomebodys house and they have a shoes-off policy. There are going to be bad times in life, like whats happening right now. No, deathly allergic. to me. Im good. [crowd claps], Thats a job, there are so many jobs when you think aboutit. Lets call it sometime mid June. Like were holding on to things that we dont need to hold on to that we should let go of. Theyve gotten a pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a dog. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. She took a chance on me. Its not important. Ellen Degeneres: (08:05) Andy Lassner: (06:14) Ellen Degeneres: (03:42) It could be all because of her. Everybodys fine with that. She also launched a lifestyle brand, ED Ellen DeGeneres, which comprises a collection of apparel, accessories, home, baby, and pet items. I love that expression. Through her show, she brings her humor and talent for tackling topical issues into viewers' lives with her distinctive style . I love that we imagine that were gonna curl up and read a good book. If DeGeneres makes roughly $50 million per year for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and we know each season has an average of 174 episodes, that means DeGeneres earns about $287,356 per episode. There was a woman in there and there wasa hair brush and some mints by the way,whos using that hairbrush? Thats good. Thank you. Ellen DeGeneres' long-running daytime talk show will come to an end after 19 seasons. Bread has been around forever. -Fine. [crowd laughs] They try to be so fancy when you go intothe fine dining. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. They just put the room in the air. DeGeneres has hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and the Primetime Emmys. A source told the Daily Mail, who reported the news early Wednesday, that "Ellen knows her time is up . Commencement: common, and cement, common cement. I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. Only when you hit the dance floor, will you dance. She opens the show with an obligatory . Thats what they should be doing. I dont know, you know. And now, by the power vested in me by the State of California and my friends at Shutterfly, I now pronounce you graduated. Its on your mind cause youre worried that someones gonna find out. They seemed fine, like, I dont know what it is. Alright, Ill remember that. It really Its like Its gonna fit. Just becausethey knew I was gay. [ Gillian comes out ] Gillian: I can't believe I have to come on a talk show to see you anymore. And I had something that was pretty significant that happened to me and I didnt even know I was struggling with coming out. And I'm like "I'm getting a mammogram. I dont like to waste food. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now has been transferred to disc in the full-frame aspect ratio of 1.33:1, and the audio has been mastered in Dolby Digital Surround. Libary Really? What are the kids doing? Thats I do have an injury thats kind of a problem for working out now. Thats not important. "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" came to an end on Thursday, wrapping a 19-season run. Its like Little holes everywhere, you think: Whos gonnato see it? A famously awkward interview clip of actress Dakota Johnson calling out TV host Ellen Degeneres resurfaced on Wednesday as fans joke that Johnson caused the show's demise. Now, she's addressing them directly about her decision to end . [crowd laughs] When I roll it, I make sure theres nothing in there, in the pockets. No, I mean it, its good material. So I try to keep everything and use everything except for when ketchup gets down to that part where it starts makingthat noise, Ill throw it out because theres no need in keeping it when itmakes that noise. Back that ass up Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) Ellen Degeneres: (07:49) By the way, all right, listen to this joke. Its like, a whole bodega is set upin there. Hoe, who is you playin wit? You dont know why someones going slow. One, two a day. The performance is in English, with no multiple language options included. DeGeneres opened the last hour of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" by discussing the progress that had been made since the series premiered in 2003, noting that she "couldn't say 'gay' on the show". They dont. 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